Why Instagram can be the perfect place to pick up women?

Having hit 1.3-billion global users in 2022, I think it’s safe to say that Instagram has revolutionized the world of social networking.

Today, you can hop online and use the platform to do a number of things- get breaking news, form opinions on Andrew Tate’s latest rant, post a story with your friends, and the list goes on.

But another exciting opportunity that comes with IG is the possibility of meeting (and possibly dating) beautiful women around you IF you play your cards right.

Before you impulsively dismiss what could potentially be the place you get an amazing girlfriend or a banging’ hot date…

I’d like to run you through a quick thought experiment-

Why else would girls spend hours trying on jaw-dropping outfits, getting dolled up with expensive makeup, taking a dozen selfies just to pick the hottest one, and then running it through a sequence of filters… just so they can get that one perfect shot for their feeds?

If you guessed “male attention”, you’re half right.

Because the other half is that these beautiful women respond only to a certain kind of male attention, the right kind of attention.

The kind of attention that makes it past her message requests and into her primary inbox (most doesn’t).

Long story short, Instagram has become a social playground of sorts…

Where sliding into the DMs of beautiful women is a competitive game to win at.

Lucky for you, though, this article is going to serve as your playbook to do just that- in a way that helps you get her attention, break the ice, and start an exciting conversation that could possibly lead to a meet-up!

Sounds good? Let’s go.

First things first, and this is a must…

You Need to Get Your Profile in Order

Before we even think of getting into the what to say side of things, I’m sure you’d agree that having a high-quality profile is pretty much a no-brainer.

Instagram, similar to other dating apps like Tinder, is a visually-driven platform, and she’s going to scan through your profile if she’s even considering talking to you.

So if you don’t have an intriguing profile in place, you’re not making a great first impression.

And if you’re not making a great first impression, why’d she even bother hitting the “accept” button on your message request? She literally has nothing to be curious about.

Having a solid profile sets you up as a high-value man with a thriving social life and gets her looking forward to knowing more about you. Here are a few areas where you can optimize it:

1. Profile Picture

The first thing that a girl sees in her inbox when you DM her is the thumbnail of your display shot.

And she can’t see what you look like; she’s probably not going to want to chat with a faceless dude.

Your profile picture should essentially be a close-up of your face.

A lot of people upload full-fledged body shots restricting the amount of space their faces can take up in their profile pictures.

2. Highlight Reels

Highlight reels are an awesome way to give your girl a sneak peek into what you’re all about. You know, things like your lifestyle, your fashion, social circle, hobbies, etc.

Filming yourself doing cool stuff that you’re passionate about is a great way to make your highlights pop unless you’re someone who’s camera conscious.

If you are, no problem! Just make it a habit to record yourself talking to the camera for one minute every day till you feel comfortable.

Before you know it, you’ll be on point in front of the camera. Remember, it’s only when you’re comfortable in front of the camera that your true persona will shine through.

You want to start getting into the habit of filming and posting cool Instagram stories. Stories are a non-tryhard way of demonstrating your value as a man.

Soon, you’ll realize that a select few of your stories get a ton of replies or reactions from people that follow you.

These are the field-tested, chosen ones that deserve to make it to your highlight reels.

3. Feed

I’m not bent on the fact that your pictures should look a certain way. But I do want your feed to make a very specific impact on your girl.

One that separates you from your competition as an outgoing, social, high-status guy with a high-status life.

So I’m going to lay out specific guidelines that will be the foundation for you to build your feed on…

And I want you to build on it with your unique style and look.

And I want you to bring them to life with your unique style and look.

Think of my guidelines as a skeleton and your unique style as the flesh on top of it.



I’m giving them to you in a Do’s and Don’ts style format. Here we go:


1. Post too many group pictures with dudes in them

While pictures of you shooting the shit with the boys are great, you don’t want to go too far with them.

Sure, we want to demonstrate that we have a tight inner circle but don’t want our feed to look like a sausage fest.

About 1-2 pics should be fine.

2. Take pictures that don’t have you in them

If you’re taking pictures of food or landscapes, it’s probably alright to post them on your story and have them disappear after 24 hours…

but they’re definitely not helping you if they’re on your feed because they say NOTHING about you.

Instead, why not post a picture of you against the backdrop of a beautiful landscape or ready to attack a juicy steak at a premium steakhouse?

3. Be wearing awkward, dorky clothes in your pictures

As discussed earlier, there’s a reason high-caliber women put a lot of thought into what they’re wearing in their pictures-


And if you can’t put a fraction of that effort into looking neat and well-dressed, it’s only going to backfire. While I’m not saying you need to look like a fashion icon…

Wearing fitted clothes that make you look sharp goes a long way. You want her to feel like she belongs to your world and something as simple as keeping up with trending outfits is a great way to do that.

4. Click photos in poorly lit areas

Lighting is a major factor that’s responsible for the overall appeal of your pictures.

While poor lighting blurs out your most appealing features, good lighting accentuates them.

The best time to click pictures is in the “golden hour”, which is shortly after sunrise or just before sunset.

If you’re trying to click a good selfie during the day, a surefire trick is to spin in a circle with the front camera on till you find a position that makes your face look perfectly lit.


1. Showcase your lifestyle in your feed

While working out and staying in shape is attractive to women, it’s best not to be the guy that floods his feed with just gym selfies.

The purpose of your feed is to show the different facets of your lifestyle.

While fitness is definitely one of them, you’ve got to mix it up with things you’re passionate about, traveling the world, partying with friends (especially beautiful women), flexing your sense of fashion, etc.

2. Make sure your posture and angle game is on point

When posing for pictures, your posture impacts how people perceive you. You want to steer clear of bad posture habits like slouching, hunching, or keeping your head forward.

Instead, having your back straight, shoulders retracted back, and chest out exudes confidence like it’s no one’s business.

Another trick is to find the angles that make you look your best. All you need to do is to fire up your selfie camera and test out how you look from different angles.

With a little bit of trial and error, you’ll know the perfect angle that brings out your best features.

3. Make sure your background looks as great as you do

While looking sharp in your photos is important, being aware of your background is too. You want the background to have just as great an aesthetic appeal as you do.

Here are a few examples of what a good background should look like:

<insert Kyle’s solo shots from his IG profile>

4. Try to get as many candid shots as possible

Hands down, candid shots just hit differently and are an effortless way to look good without trying too hard.

Not only do candid photos feel more authentic and organic, but they also capture the mood you were in when the shot was taken.

This gives them a certain depth and emotional appeal.

Wanna stack some solid candid shots?

Ask your buddy to photo-shoot you in the middle of a cool, fun activity like having a drink at a cool rooftop, surfing a massive wave on the beach, or gazing into the skyline (yes, like James Bond).

4. Instagram Captions

As far as captions go, I usually tend to write a short backstory about the picture that was taken or the lyrics of a song that strikes a chord with me.

I’m not too fussy about your captions as long as they’re interesting, have an emotional appeal behind them and (obviously) don’t flout Instagram’s community guidelines.

Breaking the Ice

If you’ve followed the guidelines I just laid out for you; your profile should be ready to make some female heads turn.

Now, it’s time to shoot over your first and most important message to your girl.

But hey, why is your first message also the most important, to begin with? 2 reasons:

1. The ice needs to be broken

Because you’re a complete stranger to her, there’s bound to be some amount of awkward tension between you two, at least at first contact.

The sooner you bust through this awkwardness, the faster you can relax and transition into a vibey, get-to-know-each-other style of conversation.

We call this breaking the ice, and that’s exactly what your first message is for.

2. Getting out of her message requests is a top priority

Women are emotional beings, and the best way to engage them comes down to firing up their emotions- preferably something funny, enticing, or flirty.

If your conversation starters are bland and don’t make her feel anything, she has ZERO incentive to move you out of her message requests and into her primary inbox…

Where she actually talks to people!

This is why a basic “Hey, how’s it goin’,” “You’re so beautiful,” or something that you read on a blog called “Best Instagram Pick Up Lines” isn’t going to cut it.

Here’s where using a quality opener enters the equation.

With an opener that elicits a positive emotional response, you slice through the white noise and stand out in an ocean of boring, mundane messages and cheesy pick up lines that she’s sick of reading over and over again.

Here’s an “assortment” of what, in my opinion, are the best Instagram DM openers, with screenshots of my own chats as proof- curated into three different categories:

  1. Observational
  2. Indirect
  3. Direct


This is arguably the best open. The reason is that it feels personalized and clearly takes more effort than a copy/paste opener. That being said, it is also the hardest opener to pull off because it takes a certain amount of wit.

Ideally, your observation sparks emotion which is either through humor, flirtatiousness, or cleverness. The observation is best done via her story posts because it comes off more subtle and prevents you from seeming too thirsty.

Now, if you just want the copy/paste openers, we have those too…

put screenshots of opens


Hey, trouble *Smiling Demon Emoji*

Hey stranger 😉

Your profile got recommended to me, I guess IG must know my type…

put screenshots of opens


*Your Location*? *Random emoji*

I like your style *Peace sign emoji*

Can I be honest?

You know what’s interesting about your photos?

put screenshots of opens

And that will do it.

Congratulations! As promised, you now have a set of proven tools to correctly slide into a girl’s Instagram inbox.

And while it truly feels to have your crush hit the “accept message request” button, this is just the beginning.

Because developing her interest and making her want to meet up with you takes more than just a great opener.

You want her to experience an exciting, emotional journey in a way that going out with you and maybe even a quick kiss becomes a no-brainer…

With things like flirting, sparking chemistry, demonstrating your value, building comfort, and getting her phone number so you don’t end up getting ghosted.

The good news is that this is something that’s been tested to succeed over and over again by my students and me in meeting countless women just through Instagram DM…

And I reveal it all to you in my brand new texting system, Text Game & Social Media Mastery.

In a nutshell, this is where I teach you the in’s and out’s of becoming absolutely irresistible on message and getting a pipeline of beautiful dates without having to worry about getting left on read again.

So if you’re finally ready to attract those Instagram stunners just by sending a few messages, Click here to get the details on Text Game & Social Media Mastery here.


December 5, 2023

How to Have Witty Banter

How to Charm Women With Witty Banter Fun fact- the same Coach Kyle who has your back when it comes ...

Blog Placeholder
December 5, 2023

What to do when a girl looks at you

What to Do When a Girl Looks at You My path from living the miserable life of a dorky, introverted, ...

November 14, 2023

How to Approach a Girl Without Being Creepy

How to Approach a Girl Without Being Creepy A Guide to Approaching Beautiful Women In a Way That Tu ...

November 6, 2023

How to Rizz Up A Girl | Flirting with Beautiful Women 101

How to Rizz Up A Girl | Flirting with Beautiful Women 101 What Does it Mean to "Have Rizz" or to ...

Coach Kyle on a date
September 8, 2022

How to Kiss A Girl Without Getting Rejected: A Comprehensive Guide

  As you’ve probably figured, the emotional journey behind kissing a woman without her ...

August 5, 2022

Frame Control: Decoded to The Tee

A Comprehensive Guide on Everything About Frame Control The Bare Essentials to Mastering Fram ...

Ready To




(The Talk Your Father Never Gave You)

Share This Post